1. the birth of this newsletter! + the end of confinement in Paris
Dear friend,
I’m writing this from my room in the suburbs of Paris, a rez-de-chaussée whose windows face the street — the concrete trottoir with dandelions peeking through its cracks, the apartment complex with barbie-pink doors and an escargot staircase, the verdant trees that grasp wildly at the sky. The room faces west, which means that on cloudless spring days, the space is bathed in a golden incandescence. At around 19h, the light softens into shadow — dappled pieces dancing against my bedroom walls, silhouettes of the trees swaying in the breeze on the street. It’s at this moment, friend, that I’m writing to you.
I’ve been wanting to write this newsletter for a long time. Something more intimate than a Paris dispatch, but less solipsistic than a Tumblr blog. Like… a letter to a good friend. I’ll tell you about my life in this city and my impressions of French society as a foreigner and a writer. The news will make its way in — I am a journalist (at France Télévisions) — but it won’t be the only thing. I miss writing and receiving (e-)letters. Maybe you do too?
Some topics I promise to cover (because I’ve received many questions on them) are race and racism in France, particularly from the perspective of the Asian community. The underbelly of French girl style and the mythic parisienne, as a former fashion writer who had to thread her sentences with inanities like « effortless chic ». The warm, Gatsby-esque world of restaurants and cafés, the stage on which Paris plays out its obsessions and stylizes its illusions. The ardent and sometimes condescending fixation on what the French call « culture » — easily forgiven, given the delight beauty brings. And love, which… I don’t want to talk about, but we have to talk about.
(There will also be original photos, because every letter could do with some snapshots! All of these were taken during the confinement.)
If you’ve read up to here, you’re probably also wondering who the person writing is, if you don’t know me already. I tend to be pretty unassuming online (I’m a Hufflepuff), but since I’m writing a letter, it’s important that you know. My name is Diana Liu. I’m Taiwanese, American, Canadian… and at this point, nearly française. I’ve been living in Paris since 2014, when I first came to the city to study and work abroad (I went to school in New York). I’m a writer and photographer, and am currently finishing up my Masters in media at Sciences Po and working at france tv. I co-founded a blog called « ChopChicks in Paris », dedicated to discovering and chronicling Paris’ burgeoning Asian food scene.
This is getting long, and as much as I love correspondence, we don’t only have this to do. I just wanted to share with you with an image of the waning days of confinement in Paris. People are getting antsy. Strolling through my neighborhood (we’re allowed « physical exercise for one hour within a 1 kilometer radius »), I see preteen girls miming TikTok dances, scruffy bobos lounging in patio chairs and clinking wine glasses, and a woman staring wistfully at a Mariage Frères window display, à la Holly Golightly. The Château, perched on a grassy hill and flanked by trees with fat, nymphéa-esque leaves, seems to remind passerby of the summer that stands to be deferred. The slopes, usually prime spots for afternoon picnics and outdoor reading, are a lustrous, undisturbed green. People stroll around the ramparts, their gaze shifting from the empty estate to the equally empty restaurants across the way.
Antsy from being cooped up during springtime, but also from the uncertainties that await us at the déconfinement, scheduled for May 11th. The executive has promised masks and tests aplenty for the moment when les français emerge, straggly hair and bank accounts worse for wear. And yet — given the government’s convoluted discourse on masks (they went from being « useless » to « indispensable ») and Emmanuel Macron’s shifty remarks about the « inutility of testing every French person » during his last allocution — the majority of the French aren’t at all reassured by the administration’s reopening promises.
To be honest, the life that’s set to *gradually* recommence a week from now still feels so strange and unknowable. I remember Paris after the 2015 terrorist attacks, everyone on edge and stricken by grief at school and in the métro. Then, like now, life had to go on, and the city fought for it: gathering stubbornly in cafés and restaurants, lighting candles in front of the Carillon, marching in the streets because liberté meant rising without fear. But when togetherness — the visceral, physical warmth of it — has become and remains a public health hazard, it makes moving forward feel even more precarious and uncertain.
Many of my friends, myself included, just long for some relief. From the anxiety of being forced back into to a “normalcy” that now seems unreasonably demanding, or from the claustrophobia of the confinement. Or a bit of both. For now, the prospect of déconfinement feels bittersweet. It feels like what awaits us from the outside is exactly what we’ve been trying to shield ourselves from - the discomfort of knowing that our comfort is conditional, and that it often comes at the expense (or sacrifice) of others.
In the beginning, I wrote that I hoped to emerge from this made new. I think that prayer has been granted, but I also didn’t realize how frightening it would feel. Newness carries a certain amount of responsibility, it seems. As it is with the monde d’après (post-Covid world) that’s being sketched out by the government and debated by intellectuals. After a certain point, comfort turns into inertia. If anything, the confinement was made so that we could confront the world again.
Wherever you are, I hope that this letter finds you well. Even though confinement can be difficult for many reasons, I hope that you’ve found comfort, or even a kind of understanding that only silence from the outside world can bring.
IN THEIR WORDS
In this section, I talk to close friends and other people I admire in Paris about… anything, really. The purpose: to share their life and thoughts… but also readings, recipes, etc. with you.
First up is my good friend Jonathan Boissinot. Jonathan is a filmmaker, the founder of Red Pear Production, and a video journalist at france info. His documentary Érèbe, which follows the stories of those who are called « refugees » in between Greece and France, has been screened in Paris, Marseille, and Aix-en-Provence.
Jonathan and me at work when we still went into work! lol
What have you enjoyed the most about this period of confinement?
Activities that require time, serenity, and a certain isolation. For instance, I was able to write and draw a 25-page graphic novel that I gave to my girlfriend for her birthday. If our lives could better accommodate this serenity and this slower pace, we’d be able to invest more in the people we love and do more things that fulfil us. I find it quite difficult to reconcile the performance and self-sacrifice that work demands of us with the mental serenity needed for creativity and caring for others. But I’m very grateful to be able to rediscover activities important to me — this isn’t the case for everyone right now.
What have you been reading and watching?
I’m reading Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov. I’ve been struck by the depth of each character as well as the way Dostoevsky confronts metaphysical questions that are often distorted or ignored in other novels. I’m also watching a film every night - I loved « Jeannette » and « Jeanne » by Bruno Dumont. I also rewatched the entire 3rd season of Twin Peaks by David Lynch - it’s one of the greatest works I’ve ever seen. I’ve also been playing Death Stranding. It’s the perfect video game for the confinement because you play a delivery person cycling through these immense, gorgeous landscapes. It also touches upon current social and political concerns, as you’re distributing resources to people in the aftermath of an apocalypse.
What’s something you discovered during this time?
The possibilities of technology to bring us together and help us get through the confinement, as well as its limits.
MIETTES
Miettes means crumbs in French (isn’t it such a cute word?). I wanted to include a sweet send-off — words, films, recipes, whatever it be that might delight and inspire you as they did me.
I’m not big on Netflix, but I watched Never Have I Ever, a new teen show produced by Mindy Kaling, twice in one weekend. The show recounts the sophomore year exploits of Devi Vishwakumar, an Indian-American girl living in the suburbs of Los Angeles. Not only is it hilarious and heartwarming, it’s also one of the first times the storied « teen sitcom » genre features people of color and their culture without justifying or tokenizing their presence.
These Chinese shrimp-and-pork-stuffed eggplant have faithfully accompanied and comforted me during the confinement. This Lemon Turmeric Tea Cake is a literal slice of sunshine. This vegan chocolate chip cookie batter is currently resting in my fridge (I will report back).
I’ve been reading my way through two (very different) memoirs : Hemingway’s A Moveable Feast about his life as a young writer in 1920s Paris, and the Chinese writer Fang Fang’s Wuhan diaries. I especially love #54, entitled « How we were back then is how you are today (那時的我們，就像今天的你們) ». If you can’t read Chinese, here are some translated extracts. Her full translated diary is set to be published this summer.
Lastly, this documentary of legendary New York Times fashion historian and photographer Bill Cunningham renewed my sense of possibility regarding the art (I used to photograph street style!) and made me reflect more on what freedom means - professionally, personally, artistically. What a legend — I still remember standing mesmerized before his Facades exhibition at the New York Historical Society back in 2014.
Source : Bill Cunningham, published by the New York Times
Thank you so much for reading. Until next time - when we’re back outside again.
with love,
diana
P.S. Feel free to write me back — I’d love to hear from you and promise to respond :)
P.P.S. If you want to receive more letters from me in the future and feel inclined to subscribe, please do :). I promise I will not spam you lol, these updates will not be very frequent as I still have a thesis to write…